Our New Addition

We are getting a new puppy. What did you think I meant?

We have a 7 year old Golden Retriever, Maggie. She was my first baby. Almost 7 month ago we had to put our 5 year old English Bulldog, Bettis to sleep. It was terrible and still makes me sad everyday. He is greatly missed. I knew that we would most likely get another dog before Maggie passes on (which will hopefully be a long long time from now) because Wes and I both love dogs. We hadn't really talked much about it because we were both missing Bettis so much.
Fast forward... Wes took the interior cushion of on of my dad's boats, which his dad is purchasing, to this place that recovered the seats for one of his other boats. These people happen to also breed Shih Tzu puppies and happened to have a litter of puppies about 2 weeks old. Wes fell in love with them. When we have talked about getting another dog, he has always talked about another Bulldog and I've said we have to wait until the kids are older because frankly they are big and dumb. Never did I think this man would ask me for a Shih Tzu. After much deliberation (Wes is impulsive and I think of every possible scenario/problem that may arise) we decided not to get the puppy. The next day it became clear that Wes really really wanted her so we went to look at the puppies. Of course that meant we were going to adopt her because I would obviously fall in love with her. We put down a deposit and she is ours. She will be getting her shots this Tuesday, May 25 (also mine and Wes' dating anniversary) and we might be able to get her after that. We are really excited and can't wait to bring her home. Wes has already gotten her food and water bowls, puppy food, a harness and leash and toys. He is super excited! Below are some pictures of our little Stella.

Stella sleeping on her brother.

Me holding Stella

Two sisters and their little brown brother

Three cute pups!

Stella and her sister

We are certainly in for an adventure training this puppy and integrating her into our family, but we are very excited and (sort of) ready for the challenge!

Hand, Foot and Mouth- Oh My!

This week has been quite eventful (read crazy and exhausting). Monday morning Carter went off to school feeling and acting absolutely fine. We got a call in the early afternoon that he was a little warm (about 100.5) and acting lethargic. Wes went to pick him up and took him to the pediatrician, as we are fairly paranoid (ok I am fairly paranoid) about the fluid behind his ear and him developing an ear infection. After examining him and finally looking into his mouth, the doctor declared that Carter had hand, foot and mouth disease. He only had a fever once and the sores remained only in his throat. The sores tend to spread to other parts of the body, mostly hands and feet, in younger babies and toddlers because they tend to put their hands and feet in their mouth and then touch other parts of their body, which spreads the sores. Since it is a viral illness there is no medication to treat it. Just treat the symptoms. Of course HFMD is highly contagious. Translation: Owen is going to soon have HFMD also. Owen had a routine follow-up ear check at the pediatrician on Thursday to make sure that the ear infection that he had two weeks ago was gone. He had been extremely fussy so I was worried that the ear infection had lingered or he was starting to exhibit symptoms of HFMD. The pediatrician (not the one we normally see, his partner) examined him and said that he was fine. Fussiness was chalked up to teething. Last night at around 10 Owen woke up screaming with at 101.9 degree fever. This morning Wes looked into his throat with a flashlight and discovered... you guessed it, white spots. Owen now also has HFMD. Here's hoping that his sores don't spread either and it is short-lived.

We Should Do This More Often...

Meaning that I should write blog posts so you can read 'em. I can't believe it has been so long since I have posted. A lot has been going on and I've just felt too emotional to write. Usually writing is a great outlet for me, but I have come to realize that sometimes it isn't the appropriate outlet. That being said, I'm back. I'd say a bullet-point style update on all members of the family is in order.

Wes:

- He is training for a tri-athalon. He is a runner and has completed a marathon, so that part shouldn't be a problem. Next he started biking, but that doesn't come as naturally to him as running. Swimming. That is the part making him nervous. He has improved a lot since starting his practice at the Y, but still finds it the most difficult aspect. I can't do any of it well so I'm impressed already.

- He has had some changes at work. Confusing and difficult to explain. Basically he is now helping to manage 4 companies instead of just 1. Same job, same goals, just a bit of reorganization. Also, he is the owner of one of the companies. I am very proud of him.

Dara:

- As you may know I have had chronic kidney stones since I was pregnant with Owen. My most recent battle with my kidney has been going on for about 6 months now. I had quite a few tests ordered by my urologist. He found something minor, but nothing that really explained the stones. He referred me to a nephrologist. At my second visit I was told that my citrate level was dangerously low. Normal people should produce 600-750 mg/day and my level was 124 mg/day. He put me on a medication to hopefully increase my citrate level. It is a powder/crystal substance that I have to stir into 6 oz. of water and drink once a day. It is gross and makes me very nauseous. As of right now I am passing another stone and in a great deal of pain. The problem with the citrate deficiency is that it alone causes kidney pain when the level is so low because my kidney is working way too hard to do its job. Citrate is an element in the kidneys that is supposed to bind to waste and help remove it from the body. Since I don't have enough of it, my kidney is essentially trying to use what it does have to remove waste. The result is pain and the formation of kidney stones. I have a follow-up appointment with my nephrologist on Wednesday. I have lots of questions for him.

- I am starting back to work part-time on Monday. I am so not ready. I set the date maybe a month or so ago and now it is almost here. I will be going back to the same job I had before Owen was born. It is nice to have the flexibility to start out part time and very nice that I will be working with family. I went back to work half days after my maternity leave after Owen was born, but quickly realized that it wasn't going to work out. Owen was so sick and his health care was a full time job. I am so lucky that my mom is going to be watching him. He is doing well, but I still have so many issues myself with him having been so ill. We all went through so much and it is just not something that is easy to get over. I trust my mom implicitly. She loves him and he loves being with her. Most importantly, she knows what happened to him and what dangerous signs to look for. I don't expect that anything will happen, but if it did she would be about as likely to know it as me. My boys and I are very lucky to have her. Even still, it is going to be so hard for me to leave him. This is a huge life change and I don't do so well with change.

Carter:

- A few months ago he had his regular appointment with the ENT. The doctor found that he had 60% fluid behind his right ear, which is the one that the ear tube has fallen out of. The doctor thought it may be as a result of allergies and put him on an allergy/decongestant medicine. He was on that for a month and just recently had his follow-up visit. He had a sinus infection, which we had no idea about because Carter very rarely acts sick. His nose had been runny, but we attributed it to allergies since he had no fever, wasn't acting any differently and hadn't complained of not feeling well. When the doctor examined his ears, he still had at least 60% fluid in the right ear, if not more. Off to the Audiology department he went for a hearing test, which he passed with flying colors. All of the results were above normal. The doctor told us to discontinue the allergy/decongestant medication since it didn't seem to make a difference. Since his hearing is fine all we do now is wait and hope that ear doesn't get infected. If he starts having infections again, or if he gets a really bad infection he will need to have another tube placed. The doctor said if that occurs they will also take his adenoids out at that time. I am praying we don't end up going down that road.

- Carter had an ongoing issue with one of the other boys in his class at school. He has known this boy for a long time, as he went to the last school Carter went to as well. This child, we'll call him Joe, used to be the quietest little thing. I think while Carter was at the last school I heard Joe talk maybe twice. Fast forward to the past month and Carter started coming home telling us that Joe was saying bad words at school. I talked to the teacher, director and owner about it. Sure enough, just about everyday Joe was swearing. Mainly words beginning with F and D. Carter repeated each of the words once, not knowing what they meant and not even knowing they were bad words because he had never heard them before. The F word was repeated early on on the playground. It happened right before I picked Carter up from school. When his teacher told me what he had said I almost fell over. I had no idea where he had heard that word. I was appalled. First of all that my son, my four year old son had said that word and secondly because I was thinking "oh no, this teacher thinks we talk to him like that." Luckily she had heard Joe say the word on the playground and Carter repeated it right afterward. Mystery solved. Carter was disciplined. I explained to him that we never used that word, it is a very bad word, etc. I explained further that he knows a lot of good words and he should use those words to express himself. I also told him that he should never say a word if he doesn't know what it means because it might be a bad word. Problem solved, right? Wrong. For a while he came home telling us that Joe had said bad words that day. Each time I told him that those words were very bad and that when Joe talks like that Carter should tell him he doesn't like it and walk away. One morning at home he had asked Wes for something and Wes said no. Carter started to have a tantrum, which included the use of the D word. Again he was punished and again we explained why we don't talk that way. Also, I marched into school that morning on a mission. I was not going to have Joe bullying my child and I did not want my child going to school (a private preschool that I pay for him to attend) everyday and hearing that kind of language. If I don't talk to him that way at home I certainly don't want him hearing it at school. The situation escalated. When the school had a conference with Joe's parents they seemingly had no idea where he had heard such language. Right. It didn't stop after the conference and as of the beginning of this week Joe was removed from the school, allegedly through mutual agreement between the parents and the school. I don't really care how it happened, I'm just glad that Carter isn't having to deal with it anymore. I also feel bad for Joe. He is also only 4. He is learning that behavior from somewhere and it makes me sad. It really is a shame that some kids grow up in environments where molding them into strong, healthy, happy individuals is not a priority.

- Carter will be moving to the pre-K class at school somewhere around the end of June/beginning of July. We are very excited and think it is going to be really good for him. I can't believe in just over a year he will be off to Kindergarten. My baby is growing up so fast!

Owen:

- What can I say, Owen is Owen. He will be 21 months old at the end of this month. Health-wise he is doing great. We have no specialist appointments until September. He is very active, running around after his brother, climbing everything in sight. He is funny. He loves to make people smile and laugh. His speech has exploded. He has so many words and is saying new ones every day. He will repeat anything on command. He loves to be read to as well as to look at books on his own.

- He is a bit of a picky eater. Well maybe that is too harsh. I remember Carter going through a stage around this age where he was not as willing to try new foods. Owen usually will eat either a really good lunch and then a mediocre dinner or vice versa. He also doesn't have all of his teeth yet, so if his teeth are bothering him he is more likely to be picky. We are working on it. He is gaining weight, so no problem there. The pediatrician is not at all concerned and sees it as a phase.

- Owen is going to be 2 at the end of the summer! How in the world did that happen?!?

Thank you for reading. I am back in the game and am going to be a better blogger, I promise!

The Other Man- A True Lifesaver

I love my husband and two boys more than anything. However, for the past 18 months there has been another man in my life. Not to worry, it is not a secret. I know I have expressed my love for him at least a hundred times. We all love him. I am speaking of Owen's urologist, Dr. Gazak, of course.

Last Wednesday I took Owen to the hospital for bloodwork that was ordered for Dr. Gazak in preparation for Owen's check-up this past Friday. It was the most calm I have ever seen Owen at the lab. Actually, the most comfortable I have seen him in any medical setting in quite a while. He has become understandable worried, even frightened, of medical professionals. If you are wearing scrubs or wielding a stethoscope does not want you anywhere near him. I was shocked and very proud of him.

Friday was Owen's first check-up with Dr. Gazak since the surgery in January that resolved his bladder reflux. He has been doing well, acting fine and perfectly healthy. Still, I could not help but worry about the results of his tests. It goes back to what I mentioned in a previous post about how difficult it is to wrap one's mind around such a huge change, even a wonderful one such as the huge improvement in Owen's health. Like I said, there isn't just a flip to switch to turn off the emotions that come with caring for and worrying about your child with a major illness, one that we thought would be a lifetime disability.

Dr. Gazak was right on schedule on Friday, which is fairly unusually given the amount of time he spends in surgery and the fact that he is a very gifted surgeon with quite a lot of patients. After a very short wait Nurse Judy came to take us back for and ultrasound. Again, Owen did much better during the ultrasound than he ever has. He usually cries and moves around like crazy, making it very difficult for Judy to get good pictures and measurements of his kidneys. This time he lay very still, taking a peel and stick Bob the Builder off of the wall next to him and putting it back over and over. He even talked to Judy, smiled at her and was very pleasant. She was thrilled that she didn't make him cry for once. As she was doing the ultrasound, I could tell his kidneys looked good. We talked about it as she looked and measured. There was a tiny bit of hydronephrosis in his right kidney (the side that took much longer to heal and led Dr. Gazak to believe that the ureter re implant had failed when he went to take the stents out back in November). It was a very small amount. She had to look for it, whereas before there was a ton and it was completely obvious as soon as she scanned his kidney. She was unable to find any hydro on the left side.

After the ultrasound she took us down the hall to an exam room. Dr. Gazak was standing right in the hallway getting ready to review the ultrasound films. He greeted Wes, Owen and me and asked how we were doing. He asked about my kidney issues. I said, "that is another story." At that point I was just beside myself waiting to hear his take on things. I said, "you tell us". We went into the exam room where he thoroughly explained the pictures of Owen's kidneys to us. I love that he is still so thorough in his explanations despite the fact that he knows how much I know about Owen's urinary tract. He knows I want to know it all. He said that the hydro on the right side was basically nothing, not to worry. He went on to tell us about Owen's blood results. His creatinine level was great, his electrolytes were great. The only level that was slightly lower than normal was his CO2 level. This is a level used to measure kidney function, however it is not as crucial as creatinine levels. The CO2 level can also be slightly low because diet. For instance, Owen is teething something awful (and drooling like a St. Bernard I might add) so he hasn't been eating as well. Again, Dr. Gazak said nothing to worry about. The only other thing of note is that his right kidney is about 1.75 mm smaller than the left one. He said this was because it had been the victim of more "insult" than the left. When that happens, especially with severity of reflux that Owen had, it just takes a little while for the kidney to catch up. Also, two kidneys are rarely the same time.

He closed by saying that he looked great, his kidneys look normal. Normal. We kept saying normal back and forth. I don't think any of us really believe it. It still hasn't sunk in. Owen doesn't have to have blood work or another renal pelvic ultrasound for another 6 months. I truly never thought this would happen. It is just so wonderful, there aren't words to describe how blessed I feel. I look at Owen in awe of all that he is been through and as hard as he has fought to get here. We always knew he would be ok whatever his differences were. Even before when it seemed impossible that the reflux would ever be resolved, there was a plan. He would have been normal, Owen's very own normal. But now he is just normal, as in his urinary tract is normal. Amazing. Wonderful. Thrilling. Miraculous.

For the umpteenth time, thank you Dr. Gazak!

Hips Don't Lie

Today Owen had a follow-up appointment with his orthopedist. We haven't been there in 6 months. The purpose of the appointment was to check the growth of his hips as well as measure his bones in order to keep tabs on his leg length discrepancy (LLD). We got to the office and Owen was doing laps around the waiting room. He would run past another waiting patient and stop to say hi. Again, he brought smiles to so many people waiting. He kept going over to the door that leads back to the exam rooms, looking at me and laughing. When it was finally his turn to go back I scooped him up and followed the nurse, knowing that his time for exploring and playing happily had ended. The boy is not a fan of doctors' offices, and really who can blame him. The nurse commented on how much he was running around and was happy to see it.

A radiology tech came in to get us to come take Owen for his x-rays. Wes and I both suited up with lead skirts (for lack of a better word) to protect us from the radiation. The way the x-ray is taken, Owen has to stand up on a step-stool looking thing with his back against the x-ray board. He has to stand with his left leg on about a 3 inch block. Today it was 2 boards and a children's Bible. I stifled a laugh at the irony of him standing on a Bible. He actually did well, much better than last time. He moved right when they took the first x-ray so another had to be taken, but last time we could barely get him to stand there.

The doctor came into the exam room and told us that his hips look great. That is one of the most important things with Owen regarding his LLD. First of all, he had hip dysplasia, so making sure his hips are developing and forming well is critical. Also, without the structure of a strong, well developed hip, a leg cannot be lengthened. Since that is what will correct his LLD, we need his hips to be in top notch condition. They look great, and hips don't lie! Great news.

We expected the discrepancy between Owen's legs to have increased. It did not. His left leg is still about 3 cm shorter than his right. It is GREAT that the discrepancy did not increase. The doctor (I don't know if I've mentioned but I love her) insists that it will eventually increase, but I choose to hold out hope that it will not. She watched him walk (and run and climb) and said that no way did he need a shoe lift at this point. I was thrilled to hear that. I feel that we should wait to open that can of worms until it is absolutely necessary medically. He gets around amazingly, and really doesn't even notice the difference. Even MORE good news, we don't have to go back for another follow-up for a year. A year. This is the first specialist that has allowed that long between visits.

We discussed the lengthening procedure. She believes that she will have to perform two lengthening surgeries. A bone can only be lengthened by 20% at a time. I don't like the thought of it, but the good news is that she feels she will only need to lengthen his femur and not his tibia. She thinks the discrepancy in the tibia will be so minor that the length can be made up in the femur. This is promising because only one bone will need to be broken. One thing that was quite shocking was when she shared with us that at the last deformity class that she attended, there was discussion about beginning the lengthening process at the age of 4. Previously we had been told age 8 at the earliest. I just didn't feel great about the idea of a leg lengthening surgery at the age of 4. She agrees, saying that she is not sure how comfortable she is with the idea. I am not sure how she is thinking about it as a surgeon, but as a mom who has a 4 year old I am aghast at the idea of keeping him non-weight bearing, about turning screws in an external fixation device to grow his bone when he can't truly understand what that means. After the lengthening is complete a child can walk, but it is very important not to bear weight during the actually process of growing bone. The screws can only be turned 1mm per day, so it isn't an extremely expedient process. The good news is that we still have 2 1/2 years of medical advancement and time for the medical to community to decide what is best. It is not a decision that needs to be now.

I think one of the most satisfying aspects of today's appointment for me is that according to what the doctor said when she first began seeing Owen, this would have been when he started to walk. Instead he has been walking for 8 months and is now running, climbing and getting around like he has no idea that he has LLD. Again, he amazes me, I am so proud of him. The doctor was too, it was clear.

18 Months

Owen was 18 months old on Saturday. 18 months, a whole year and a half!? I know I have said this numerous times throughout the development of both of my children, but seriously where has the time gone? It is absolutely unbelievable to me that my baby is a toddler. In fact, I won't have it! He is my baby, end of story.

It is funny, because I remember this stage in Carter's development. I remember being frustrated because he was talking, but was still unable to fully communicate his wants and needs. We used sign language a lot with Carter. We tried it a bit earlier on with Owen and he didn't take to it. He talks quite a bit, but has fairly recently started to whine and show discontent when we don't understand what he wants. I'm thinking another shot at a few signs is in order for Little Man.

As always, watching these kiddos grow is amazing. Owen amazes me every day. His smile and laugh continue to be contagious. He and Carter just crack each other up. Once Owen gets a laugh out of you, he keeps on going until you are just in stitches.

I do not believe in comparing the abilities of my children (or children in general for that matter), but I cannot help but notice the difference between Owen and the way Carter was at this age. I believe the differences are in large part because with Carter I was a rookie, whereas now I am a seasoned veteran. :) In all seriousness, one minute I find myself thinking, "Owen seems so much younger than Carter was at this age." and the next minute trying to remember, "Was Carter doing that at this age." The former no doubt has a lot to do with all of the illness that Owen has been through. In a lot of ways I feel like we were robbed of a normal infancy with him. Of course we were not robbed, we are blessed for each moment he has spent as part of our family. Still, it is a fact that Owen's development has been different from Carter's simply because of his health issues. He has been through more than anyone should go through in a lifetime, let alone in 18 months. However, he has thrived, has hit every milestone. He is right on track. For that we are so thankful. As for wondering if Carter had done such and such by this particular age, that is where the differences come in. It intrigues me to no end to look at the personalities of each of these precious boys of mine. They are so similar, yet so different at the same time. Most importantly, they love each other so incredibly much. I hope they have that love always.

I find myself nostalgic for moments passed, sad because Owen is our last baby and he is growing up. But boy is it fun to love these boys and watch them grow!

A New Chapter

In early October 2008 our lives were turned upside-down after Owen became extremely ill. We took him to a regional hospital, found out he was nearing the point of seizure and cardiac arrest, and were critical cared transported to a Children's Hospital downtown. You know the story, we spent 2 weeks there, much of it in the PICU as the doctors attempted to find a diagnosis. Owen was eventually diagnosed with Grade 5 Bladder Reflux and underwent surgery, a vesicostomy. That was the first of 7 surgeries that Owen has undergone. With the exeption of his cleft lip repair, all were urological surgeries meant to relieve the pressure being put on his kidneys. It has been a long road. My Little Man has fought like a tiger through all of it.

Surgery # 7 took place on January 18. We feared that the surgery would be postponed because of a repiratory infection that Owen developed that turned out to be the Roseolla virus. Luckily we were able to go ahead with the surgery. Dr. Gazak performed a cystoscopy, during which he removed the stent from the right side of Owen's urinary tract. He then did a cystogram, an x-ray to discern the level of reflux and the condition of the urinary tract. The cystogram was clear. The only thing he found was that the valve that he had created on the right side of Owen's bladder during the ureter reimplantation/bladder reconstruction surgery on October 19 was a bit weak. He was able to inject a shot of Deflux (a reflux medication) which is a binding agent that would strengthen the valve. The final result of the surgery- Owen's bladder is no longer refluxing.

Thus, the new chapter of our lives begins. We spent the first 16 monts of Owen's life worried and scared. He spent that time hurting, fighting and enduring surgery after surgery. We hurt and fought right along with our sweet Little Man. After an extremely negative x-ray after surgery in November, things didn't look so good for Owen. We were told that he would be ok, but would live with relux and the serious disablitiy of having a hole in his bladder to empty his urine for the rest of his life. It was devistating. That news has no place in this new chapter. After 16 months of awful illness, many hospital stays, countless visits to specialists and more worry and angst than I can express, Owen is out of the woods. Owen is healthy. Owen passes urine just like any other little boy. He made it. We made it.

Today I finally felt able to write this post. As wonderful as this news is, as excited as we are to have begun this new chapter as a family, as blessed as we are to have Owen's condition to have improved the way it has, it is also difficult to adjust. He was sick for so long, and all of the sudden it is as though a switch has been flipped. I love the switch. I am glad it was flipped. It is just going to take me a while to get used to this new lighting.

As always, I want to thank all of our family and friends who have kept us and especially Owen in their thoughts and prayers. It has meant the world to us, and we believe has been a contributing factor in where we are today. We feel very loved, and again we thank you.