Big boy with an infectious smile

You probably know that our youngest son was born with 6 birth defects. Also, that we were not of any of them during my pregnancy. The only on that we knew of right away was a cleft lip. We were lucky, it was very mild. Of course, he was beautiful just the way he was. As his mother I felt sad and worried about how he would be treated. People are not very accepting of physical differences. Kids can be mean and I didn't want my little boy to have to deal with that kind of cruelty. Then it occurred to me that the cleft would have to be repaired. My baby was going to have to have surgery. At the beginning all I knew about clefts came from commercial, pamphlets etc. that were meant to raise awareness. A million images, mostly of children with much more serious conditions than Owen's. Still, I had no idea what would be involved. How many surgeries would he have? How would certain things like eating be after a surgery like that? How would it heal? What kind of scar would he have.

I do have a point, so let me get to it. Today marks the three year anniversary of Owen's surgery to repair his cleft lip. He was 9 months old. Owen has always had an unbelievably amazing and infections smile. People everywhere would comment on his smile. Even before it was "fixed". Before long the cleft was not something I noticed at all. The boy has always had a huge personality. It was the most amazing lesson I've ever learned about unconditional love.

Healing SO quickly.
Before long, Owen's lip had healed so well, and as time went on it was harder and harder to tell that the he had ever looked any different. Now when people find out for the first time that he was born with a cleft lip, they do a double take and declare that they can't even see a scar.
He is still making us smile with his big bright smile every day.

A very Happy Easter

I love Easter. I love it for so many reasons. I have enjoyed the holiday even more since becoming a mom. I love sharing the meaning of Easter with my boys. I love sharing some of the traditions from my childhood and creating new ones with my own family. I love attending church on Easter morning. The service at our current church is my favorite Easter service yet. Oh, and lets not forget the chocolate bunnies. This year my mother-in-law got us chocolate bunnies with peanut butter inside. That didn't even last until Easter morning. Yum!

We had such a nice day yesterday. The boys woke up at 7 (late for them in case you haven't heard me talk about my children getting up at the crack of dawn) and we did our scavenger hunt, which is a tradition that started when I was growing up. They get a clue that leads them to a gift.

Carter got a new booster seat. He needed it anyway, so we used it as a gift. He can't get enough of anything that makes him feel like a big kid, so he loved it. Owen's "I'm a big boy present" was a quilt for his new full size bed. All Carter really wanted was a basketball, and that is what the next clue led him to. Owen found a cuddly orange teddy bear waiting for him. Stuffed animals are his most recent love. He doesn't have just one special "friend" like a lot of kids, but a ton that he picks and chooses from. It actually makes it easier as far as not losing the one thing he won't sleep with that and all of that fun stuff. He was thrilled about his new aminal (not a typo, that is what he calls them. At last it was time for them to find the baskets that the Easter bunny had left for them. Carter was so cute trying to help Owen throughout the hunt. It was so cute to watch, but a little bitter sweet this year because neither of them really need our help anymore. It used to be, "Mom I don't know what that clue means" and now it is "We can find it ourselves."

Next was the Easter egg hunt in the backyard. This year to cut down on the ridiculous amount of candy associated with Easter, I put coins in about half of the eggs. Both boys thought that was just awesome. Carter especially is trying to earn what he refers to as an allowance. Then of course Owen wants to be just like his big brother. It is not an allowance per say. If the boys are gifted money from a relative that goes into the bank. In addition, we have begun doling out quarters for particularly good behavior or being extra helper. They can also help out with or do extra chores around the house to earn quarters. It has really helped them, Carter especially, to learn the value of money. It has also been a good teaching tool for Carter in the math department. Owen is still a bit young to fully grasp the concept, but he does understand it to some degree. Just before we started doing this Owen and I were at the pharmacy picking up prescriptions and he wanted a toy car. Besides the fact that he has half a million cars, I wasn't buying him a car that day for no reason. I told him that we came to pick up medicine and that it is expensive and unrealistic for him to expect me to buy him a car every time we go to Rite Aid. (I know I tried to take it down a notch and explain it on a 3 year old level, but you get the idea.) As I handed the cashier my debit card to pay for the prescription, Owen said, "Mama, there is money on that card. You CAN buy me a car." Oy. He doesn't get it. Of course he is only 3 1/2, but I think the early he starts to learn he won't always get what he wants, the better.

I digress. We got to church just with moments to spare. Wes and the boys went in and found my in-laws and my sister and her husband, who were saving us seats. I stayed out in the hallway with our Director of Children's Ministry to help her organize the children, who would be processing into the church with our flowered cross and Alleluia sign. There is a huge cross at church that is used on Easter morning. As people from the congregation enter the narthex they are invited to add flowers to the cross as a symbol of resurrection. Several weeks ago in Sunday school, the children made tissue paper butterflies and a sign that said Alleluia with all of their hand prints on it. The kids were so cute and everyone loved it. After we got the children back to their respective parents, I went to join my family for the service. It was just lovely. As is the tradition at our church, there is an Easter egg hunt following the 10:30 service for children under 8. It is actually more like a free-for-all. The eggs are not exactly hidden as much as they are just sitting on the front lawn of the church. The younger kids get a head start before the older kids are released to collect eggs. It is so cute watching the mad dash.

Next on the agenda was a trip to my parents house on our way home so that the boys could do a scavenger hunt and backyard egg hunt there. Wes and the boys stayed and ate lunch while I headed home a bit early to rest and put ice on my back after what had been a long morning. After the boys took their naps, we headed over to Wes' parents' house. They were hosting Easter dinner. First the boys had another Easter egg hunt. For those of you keeping track, that is four in one day. That is a lot of eggs, but they did not tire of hunting. My mother-in-law served glazed ham, fresh green beans, roasted sweet potato squares, deviled eggs and rolls. It was delicious. We also got to eat in the dining room in their new house for the first time.

It makes me so happy to have my parents and my in-laws living so close, and my sister and brother-in-law living about 25 minutes away. We don't have to chose which family to spend time with. After 15 years our parents are great friends and everyone really enjoys spending time together, especially on holidays.

I haven't forgotten the most important part of Easter, just chose to talk about it last. The true meaning of Easter does not involve bunnies, eggs or candy. It is the day that we as Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. It is an important day to remember that Jesus died for us on the cross, and was resurrected on the third day. We now celebrate this day as Easter.

While I am writing about my faith, I have a great story to share about something that Owen said today. He told my mom, "Grandma, Jesus died for us." My mom confirmed this, and then Owen said "If you have a problem, you can talk to Jesus in your head and he will help you." At three and a half years old, the child continues to amaze me with the things that he says about Jesus, God, heaven, angels etc. I look forward to much more input from Owen as well as many more happy Easters.

Debut of the Queen Bee Classics Etsy store!

I am proud and very pleased to announce today's debut of the Queen Bee Classics shop on Etsy.com

Please visit my shop here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/QueenBeeClassics?ref=seller_info

I hope you have as much fun browsing as I did knitting and creating these items. There will certainly be more to come, so make sure to bookmark the shop or add me to your favorites!

Bee Classy!
Dara

A very quick Ortho update

I just had a nice talk with a friend. Actually nice talks with 3 friends today. I've said it at least 20 times today about Owen's Orthopedic appointment... "I don't want to talk about it." And I still don't. I also know that a lot of people are thinking about and praying for our family and who really care about Owen. Those people deserve to know the gist of what happened. I apologize that all I can give you right now is the gist. This has bowled me over, left me sad, confused and hurting. Oh and very angry, with no one to aim that anger at.

Owen sees his Orthopedic surgeon once a year for follow ups for his congenital short femur. They take x-ray, measure his body as well as his bones on the x-rays. Last year his femur was about 2 1/2 cm short and his tibia was maybe 1 cm short. The tibia has never ever been a concern. His doctor had every reason to believe that it would be left alone. Wrong.

Three main things happened today, all of which are very upsetting to me as his mother. 1.) His tibia is now 2 cm short and will also have to be lengthened. Twice. 2.) His doctor is considering doing the surgeries at different times than she originally though. Instead of 8ish and 14ish, she is now considering 5ish and 9ish. I can't even talk about all of the reasons that a leg lengthening for my 5 year old makes me cringe and want to be sick. Last year, it was something that was being done by some surgeons in the orthopedic community, but his doctor wasn't convinced. Today she told me she has done it quite a bit and Owen may be a candidate for early lengthening. 3.) Owen was born without an ACL in his left leg. As Owen's body has grown and developed, his orthopedist has been able to gain more and more information from his body. Today was the first time she knew that both bones would be lengthened, and that the weakness in his knee could be an issue with that. She will have to worry about subluxation of his knee.

I'm sorry, that is all I can manage for now. Intellectually I can process these things and have very rational thoughts. Emotionally I am a wreck. One of the things I hear a lot is "it could be worse". Do people think I don't know that? Guess what, this is MY worst, OUR worst. Please try to understand that.

Follow me!

I have taken a plunge. I have decided to follow a dream. A dream that I ended up modifying slightly to fit my lifestyle and that of my family. My dream for about 7 years now has been to have my own knitting shop. That would obviously be a huge undertaking, involving renting retail space and acquiring quite a lot of stock, i.e. very expensive wool. For quite some time I looked at this dream as something that I would maybe do someday. Years have passed, my boys are growing rapidly before my eyes, I certainly don't have more free time- I have much less. This is in no way a complaint. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and a mother. I enjoy the reality of my marriage growing and changing. How could I not? I am married to my best friend. I feel eternally blessed to be able to watch Carter and Owen grow, learn, and change. I love that I have such a huge influence in the fact that they are morphing into kind, caring, loving young boys before my eyes.

Time flies and life will continue to surprise us as our family of four continues to grow and change together. (By grow I do not mean to imply that there will be additions to our family. It is most certainly complete!) I recently decided to really take a look at myself, who I was and who I have become. I am not just a wife and a mom. I have my own interests and passions that make me who I am. Some of those things have naturally taken a backseat in the past few years. Again, I am not complaining. It is the way things had to be and the way things should be. I feel that I am in a very good place, and it is time to follow my dream. Even if it is a modified version of the original idea.

Without further ado, I am happy and proud to announce the establishment of my new business, Queen Bee Classics. I will be primarily selling knit jewelry and button jewelry. It will be fashionable, funky, beautiful, chic, and most importantly classy. I am beyond excited about this new journey and hope that you will follow along with me. I am working furiously to create quality items to add to my Etsy shop. I look forward to sharing my creations with you in the very near future.

I will certainly keep you in the loop. To stay apprised of the happenings at Queen Bee Classics please follow the blog for my business here: http://queenbeeclassics.blogspot.com/
Please follow my Facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Queen-Bee-Classics/

Thank you all for your continued support. I look forward to sharing with you my art, created with so much love!

Accident

Until Tuesday I had never been involved in a serious car accident. A few minor fender benders, but other than that I had been very lucky. Well, there is a first time for everything.

Tuesday morning I had an appointment in Waxhaw, about an hour away from where we live. On my way home, at about 11:30 am I was driving on a very busy, notoriously dangerous road with a lot of intersections and traffic lights. Because of some extenuating circumstances involving the two people in one of the other cars involved in the accident, I do not feel that it is a good idea to go into details about what happened at this time. In other words, because of these people we are dealing with a great deal of annoying complications. As if having a serious accident is not enough. I am very lucky that my husband is taking the reins as far as handling the insurance aspect of the accident and also corresponding with the police. As of now it is not necessary for the police to question me further, but I will not be surprised if it does happen. For the record, they won't be questioning me because of anything that I did wrong.

I am writing this post as I rest uncomfortably in my own bed at home. I was very blessed not to have sustained any severe injuries. I spent about 7 hours in the hospital and was sent home, ordered to remain on bed-rest for 3 days because of my neck and back injuries. I am not supposed to sit for more than 10-15 minutes. I hurt my neck (whiplash I would guess), sprained my left wrist, hurt my back (hence the bed-rest and also being advised not to sit for too long. Apparently that will cause more stress on my spine and slow the healing) and have a few abrasions from the seat belt and air bag.The outcome could have been oh so much worse, and I am so thankful that I am ok. I am not even thinking about the car right now. However, for inquiring minds, the general opinion is that it probably will not be totaled. Fingers crossed.

Since I had neck and back injuries, the extent of which were not known at the scene of the accident, I was put on a back board in what the EMTs called C-Spine Precaution position.

If you know me, you know that I am claustrophobic, I hate hospitals and I hate ambulances even more. There was definitely some panic going on. And by the way, the EMTs telling me that I was causing more tension and stress for my already injured body did not help in the least. I was glad my x-rays all came back fine and extremely glad to get off of that back board. I will take a stretcher with no straps confining me any day. Really, I'm hoping to stay far away from hospitals for a long time to come.

Unfortunately, in addition to still being in pretty awful pain, I am also having a lot of emotional issues as a result of the accident. It was just so scary. It is scary to think of what could have happened, all the things that would have made it worse. Of course I am trying to change my focus, but I am having nightmares and flashbacks nonetheless.

One Week Later

You may know (either because you have met them, or because I have talked about them or written about them here) that until last week, we had three dogs. We are dog people. A week ago today we had to say goodbye to our shih tzu, Stella. We were lucky in that her breeder agreed to take her and work toward finding her a good home. I am still so sad, but it was the right decision. Within one week she bit both boys. Now being such a small dog it isn't like she could maul them, but when she bit Carter she almost broke the skin. It was not fair to have the boys getting bitten, being worried about it and telling me "Stella is mean. I want her to live somewhere else." We made the right decision, but it is so hard because she wasn't a bad dog and it is so strange no having her here. It does help knowing that she is in a good home. We are back to being a two dog family. We have Maggie, a sweet and loving Golden Retriever who will be nine later this year; and Brock who is a little over two. Brock is an English Bulldog, and just the most gentle loving dog. The phrase "big dumb animal" applies pretty well to him. He just lays around lazily most of the day. He does really enjoy being loved. For example he doesn't realize how big he is and will sit on our laps any chance he gets.

I feel lucky to have my other two fur babies as I come to terms with the decision we had to make to say goodbye to Stella.